Space Agency Announces Earth’s True Shape And More April Fool’s News

April 1 is a great day on the internet. Suddenly, people start to apply critical thinking before sharing news, memes, and posts – after all, you do not want to be caught believing something silly, do you? It is also a day for scientists to share funny papers that can range from total BS to actually pretty interesting, despite not being a serious research topic.

Early this morning, we spotted the European Space Agency (ESA) announcing the true shape of the world. Flat-earthers rejoice: it is not a sphere. But it is not flat either – it is egg-shaped, perfectly taking advantage of the fact that April Fools falls on Easter Monday. Bravo to the ESA social team.

CERN, home of the Large Hadron Collider, also had a big announcement. This year it celebrates its 70th anniversary and wants to mark the occasion on April Fool’s Day by rebranding itself. The new name is Network of Experiments for Research and Development in Society (NERDS). Quite apt for the place that gave birth to the World Wide Web.

Of the most bizarre April Fools’ fake research, we liked this “paper” on quantum biology from Jim Al-Khalili. He and his fictional co-authors showed that thanks to quantum entanglement, water molecules can store information. Liquid water having a memory is one of the ridiculous tenets of homeopathy – the ability of water to remember a beneficial active ingredient but not all the crap, microplastic, and forever chemicals that might pass through it.

On the topic of making fun of pseudoscience, a paper on the arXiv announced the beginning of multi-messenger astrology. Multi-messenger astronomy is using light together with neutrino and gravitational wave observations. In this paper, Walker et al. suggest the use of crystals to help astrology to “predict the future” and better excuse a fraction of negative personality traits.

For a bit more hard-hitting science, there are two papers relating to the eclipse. One is about the search for Vulcan, the hypothetical planet (not the Star Trek one) that was once believed to exist between the Sun and Mercury. What better opportunity to look for a sign of it than when the light of the Sun is blocked by the Moon?

We really enjoyed the opening line: “The number of planets in the solar system over the last three centuries has, perhaps surprisingly, been less of a fixed value than one would think it should be.” This was submitted to the fictional publication Acta Prima Aprilia (Journal of April First). 

Also hosted on the Arxiv is a fantastic April Fool’s paper on which species has witnessed the most eclipses.

That research team considers the horseshoe crab as the animal that consistently saw most eclipses. It emerged in the fossil record 480 million years ago and has not changed much in the last 200 million years. In total, according to the paper, this species can count on 138 trillion Total Solar Eclipse experiences by individuals.

Extending the definition of humans to our last common ancestor with chimps, we have only brought in 38 billion eclipse experiences. But do not worry – we can beat the horseshoe crab in 10 million years, as long as the population stays the same, with plenty of time to spare before the Moon stops eclipsing the Sun.

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